Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Go here.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Make-believe, Pretend, and Dreams

Here’s something I should probably give a little more time, but I’m dashing it off anyway. The post I have been working on is turning into a book, so I am going to have to do something about that as well.

Maybe the kids I hung out with were a little weird, but we made a definite distinction between “pretend” and “make-believe”. Pretend was easy. “Pretend you are a Pirate”, or “Pretend my back yard is the moon’. Simple, for a kid. Make-believe was a whole ‘nother degree of difficulty. When we started a sentence with “Make believe ...”, it was understood that this was going to be a two-part project. First came the “make” part. We would sit and listen to an elaborate scenario, adding whatever exciting thoughts came to mind to make the story better.

A typical example might go, “Make believe the Germans (Hitler’s army) are right over that hill, and the ground drops away on the other side so we can’t see them” (It didn’t)

“Oh! and Mr. Genthner’s fence is really barbed wire!” (Split rail)

“And we have to stop them before they blow up the convoy that will be coming up Chestnut Street in 10 minutes!” (or whenever the next passing car supplied the sound effects.)

“And they have mortars and they’re shooting at us!” (Totally imaginary, but a passing bird might get labeled “MESSERSCHMITT!”)

And so on, until we agreed upon the whole elaborate scenario. And then we would play, pretending to believe for as long as the game lasted. If it was a really exciting day, we might go home, and dream about what we had done to win the war. The dream might mix in a healthy dose of stock black and white footage from “Combat” or “The Rat Patrol” or a number of other TV shows. This was life before computer and video games fed you the whole story, but it’s not much different in the end.

I think it is this ability for the human mind to see things that only exist in the head, and solidify those daydreams by actually dreaming about them, that is responsible for Faith, or belief without proof. Next time someone invites you to “believe”, imagine the word “make” in front of that proposal and see if it still makes sense.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

I Gotta Get Me One Of These!

"Are you tired of praying to Jesus and being ignored? Don’t get cross. Take action with The Submissive Jesus(tm) Talking Prayer Answering Head”

Move over Magic 8-Ball, you’ve given me your last “Answer unclear...” I’m finally going to get to personally torture my personal savior until he coughs up some answers, dammit! I think I’ll add this delightful deity to my Christmas list. Won’t those people with the singing Bass on the wall be green with envy as I literally wring the answer to my prayers out of this cagy deity. I’ve got you now you fickle bastard!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Can I Say That I Think Tyler Perry Is a Lame Horse’s Ass...

...without being accused of racism? Tyler Perry has received the Oprah Winfrey Seal of Approval, and is a definite member of the Oprah Mutual Admiration and Promotion Club. That doesn’t make him all that good. I was suckered into watching "Diary of a Mad Black Woman", and that’s two hours I will never get back (review here). He’s just not that funny. I don’t believe that I’d have to be Black to get the humor either. His abrasive and abusive two-dimensional characters reminded me of my own childhood. They could have been bad caricatures of many German, Polish, and Italian-descended residents there. I guess I’m just not nostalgic enough about that crap to identify with it and laugh. I was not impressed by his portrayal of the Urban Black analog of Granny Clampett either.

Tyler is also part of the never ending advertisement for the Christian church. Hey, convincing people that they need someone else to tell them how to live and be happy can buy you some powerful friends that know how to milk the system. Like Dr. Phil, and Oprah. You know, successful hucksters.

I am currently in Illinois, receiving 40 hours of Adult Education. More regular posts when things slow down a bit.