Saturday, June 09, 2007

Write Your Own Parable Contest!

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert Anson Heinlein

Over the years, there has been a lot of posting on the blogs that I read concerning the historical origins of Bible stories, and other mythology. I have also read numerous posts concerning Pagan holidays, Jewish holidays, and other religious holidays, and how they were supplanted by Christian holidays. I think it’s unfair that early Christians should have all the fun glomming onto other people’s traditions, and we who follow after get left out.

The following was originally written as a comment to this post from Beep Beep. It’s not exactly on-topic, but it occurred to me that others might like to try this.

If you want to play, the rules are as follows: Take your favorite parable, and spin it into some other religion. Mine started out Buddhist and ended up Hindu (so long as you grant me rather wide artistic license). The idea is to steal one and attribute it to someone else.

Once upon a time, there was a priestess in the temple of Shiva who grew increasingly restless. Dissatisfied with how slowly the goddess revealed her secrets, she decided to go out into the world and learn the secret of creation for herself. After twenty years, she returned to show off to the goddess what she had learned. The goddess, being a goddess, recognized her immediately and said, "My daughter, where have you been?"

The wayward priestess replied, "I have been out in the world, and I have learned to make cookies in my vagina! Here, have one."

The Goddess replied, "My daughter, you should have learned to use an oven. It would have been much faster."


At 6:05 AM, Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Haven't people got enough crazy ideas without you encouraging them to create a few more? ;)

And thanks for the HT.

At 12:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm.....better than making cottage cheese, anyway..... *evil smirk*


At 12:29 AM, Blogger BEAST FCD said...

In the beginning, there was Jenna Jameson, and there was nothing.

After a few million years of self-induced heights of sexual ecstasy, Jenna got bored. So she created, from the dust of the Earth, Man, with a 10 inch prick.And so Jerkhead was born.

Seeing thus, Jenna proceeds to be fucked.

As the tumultuous orgies begin to rise and ebb, the oceans hath thus become agitated, and out from this agitations, the first spermatoon was born.

And so all life began to evolve from this first seed.

All hail Jenna Jameson.

At 4:00 PM, Blogger breakerslion said...

beepbeep: Answered you in the world of woo.

anon: I won't argue with you there, but nobody said the cookies were unleavened. Every fable contains a grain of truth.

Your story would explain a lot.

At 7:27 PM, Blogger Kalanchoe542 said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Kalanchoe542 said...

Once upon a time there was a girl named Paris. Paris was a very naughty girl and rode her bicycle under the influence of too much weasel juice. For her transgression she was ordered to remain in the dungeon with only bread and water. After two days of this she complained of an undisclosed illness, and the dungeon keeper let her go back to her room, because he was a spineless wuss and a pedophile.
When the magistrate heard of this, he was enraged and called for Paris to be brought before him. Instead of ordering her back to her dungeon, he took up a gigantic Howitzer and blew her to smithereens.
Hence was born the concept of justice for the people.


Too bad fairy tales aren't based upon reality....

At 12:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Omg lmfao thats the slackest parrable ive ever heard in my life. xD

At 12:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my hw is to write a parable. so i clicked on the site thinking it would give me some ideas. im 99.999% sure that I am probably dumber than before I read that parable.


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