Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Obligatory Falwell Eulogy


I only wish several other huckstering jackholes would quickly follow suit. I'm having trouble deciding how to sum up my feelings so....

I'm having a headline contest:

Eulogize Falwell in two sentences. Here are some examples to get you started.

Falwell dead. Oh dear, I think I broke a nail.

Falwell dies. World declared slightly less slimy.

Falwell is dead. Self-esteem of pigs seen to rise as comparisons die with him.

You get the idea.

If you prefer a very nice longer version, try here.

15 Comments:

At 1:51 AM, Blogger BEAST said...

O Boy. That's difficult.

Allow me to try:

Jerry Falwell:

Jerry was a nice, portly man, a little rolly-polly.

Didn't have one bad word to say about anybody. Oh, well, of course, he didn't like those faggots a lot, but seriously, who does?

Then came 911, when he appeared on Pat Robertson'show, and really, he shouldn't have blamed the sight of two planes smashing into the Twin Towers on those damn gays and ACLU lackeys After all,wasn't it the Iraqis who did it? After all that was why we went into Iraq, right?

And, and........all those moronic atheists from American Atheists, trying to smuggle their hedonistic ideologies into classrooms, well, when Falwell was alive, he never let them walk all over his conservative bunch and over his dead body. Well, now that he is dead, shouldn't we atheists just do what, in memory of this jolly good fellow?

Oh ok, so he was a little nutty and all, but deep down, we all know he's a complete asshole, and.......yes, we all love him.

With lots ole love
Just another God damned Atheist

 
At 7:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a disgusting, misguided piece of garbage.

I pray for mercy on your soul!

bdawg

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Mookie said...

Falwell Dies, Returns to Spawning Pits in Hell

73 Year Old Rotting Corpse Finally Stops Moving

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger Mookie said...

Falwell Dies in a Ball of Greasy Evil

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger Rev. Barking Nonsequitor said...

Somewhere I have a piece of video with this monster butt plug being
demonstrated - but not in the butt.

i am sick of people trying to be nice about Falwell now that he is dead - even people from groups that he vilified and railed against are responding lame - what wrong with saying things like:

Falwell is gone. Hip, hip hooray!

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger breakerslion said...

Beast:

Always loving the way your mind works; just slightly askew of anything I expect.

bdawg:

I admire your persistence. I will always believe that it is misguided. Your calling me a piece of garbage does not make it so, even if the alleged actions of your alleged god would tend to validate that belief. Your god would not be worthy of worship even if he did exist. Your opinion is irrelevant to my continued serenity.

mookie: Nice!

rev:

Yeah. This politically correct shit coupled with the almost-instinctive "not speaking ill of the dead" taboo is beginning to make me puke. That evil sack of crap has given me something however. He has shown me that the Carpetbaggers are the ones who are in charge. They have won through mastery of doubt and "crying foul". They have elevated the trade of Mark Twain's "Duke and Dolphin" to the highest art, and so brought the religious/political scam full circle, back to the motivation of its beginning. FSM help us all. Ramen.

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Is that a butt plug?

 
At 8:49 PM, Blogger BEAST said...

Lol Breakerslion

I have posted my own eulogy on Falwell on my blog.

Thanks for your comments, by the way.

Regards
Beast

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger breakerslion said...

beepbeepitsme:

If you hover your cursor over the image, you will see the actual title given to that object by its vendor. I thought it was fitting and proportionally similar.Holding back social progress is a lot like constipation. It has a toxic effect on the entire organism and eventually causes inability to think, and hallucinations.

beast:

You're welcome. Good to see you are back.

 
At 4:35 PM, Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Oh ok thanks. Yeah, I thought it was something like that. (Uneducated as I am in "bottom accoutrement." )

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger breakerslion said...

beepbeepitsme:

I suspect you will respect me more if I refrain from making a joke involving "Down Under", so I will. I am always surprised and a litle envious of those that live a sheltered life.

 
At 8:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Envy me, then. I didn't know what a butt plug was 'til I was approximately 40. The thought of it still creeps me out a bit...

ILD

 
At 5:30 AM, Blogger breakerslion said...

Anon:

Ok, I will. I must confess, when I first heard about these devices, I thought they were something like a "truckers friend", designed to contain "the runs" on those empty Kansas highways. Right... and those vibrating dildos in the ads in the back of magazines really were being sold as neck massagers.

If that isn't gross enough, I leave you with this thought: Never trust a fart.

bdawg:

You must be loving the direction this discussion is taking.

 
At 7:46 AM, Blogger Rev. Barking Nonsequitor said...

It seems to me that I have quite collection of toys at my bedside - in fact I invented probably one of the earlier multi-waveform vibrators.

How did the Rev. learn about all this? The only way you can learn about all these sexual aids is to watch them being used by another experienced partner or in one of the better erotica films. You can also visit reputable vendor sites or get a catalog from folks like Good Vibrations or Adam and Eve and read about them.

I hope one day we will have a class es in high school on how to have good sex and not merely "health" and "contraception". Wouldn't the world be more peaceful place if everyone got some - but good.

 
At 9:26 PM, Blogger L>T said...

GooD Lord! Jerry falwell is rolling over in his grave covering his ass I bet.
I've wasted too much of my life around big assholes like that.

I was innocent about things like butt plugs until recently. ;] yippee for the internet!

Temporarly, back from the dead.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home