From the Sublime to the Ridiculous
…Or at least from the intelligent to the stupid.
NPR: Week in Review, Elections, Rumsfeld
NBC: Couple sees Virgin Mary, Jesus in Gold Nugget
This little nugget was carried as straight news by a bazillion NBC affiliates. It is alleged to be an image of the alleged virgin Mary holding the Baby Jeezus, found in a naturally occurring gold nugget. Why the fuck is it always the alleged virgin Mary? Why can’t it be any of about three billion other women with a baby? That high forehead and vertical profile looks sort of Irish to me. What, there aren’t any Irish women with babies? Is that a flower in her hair? I don’t remember the Bible mentioning any Polynesian habits in ancient Jerusalem. That Jaw kinda looks like the Tinman from The Wizard of Oz, or maybe like Sigmund Freud’s under the beard. Are you trying to say that the alleged Sexless Baby Blaster was a leper? If you see a profile at all, you see a clearly defined nose and lower jaw. Ya-sef’s pregnant bride would not have risked her life in public by not covering her face. Are you trying to say that the alleged virgin Mary was an unchaste slut? On second thought, it looks more like a gold-plated loogie that somebody hocked up into a deep fryer. Yeah, I can see some yokel fishing that out of the Fryolator along with the Twinkies and Coca-cola.
Would somebody please discover another habitable planet? I need to move away from this loony rock.
PS: The alleged Baby Jesus looks more like a baby Dr. Zoidberg to me.