Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Cramityville Hogwash, or The Thing That Wouldn't Die


This piece of shit has almost as many lives as Jason.

The Amityville Horror (1979)
Amityville II: The Possession (1982)
Amityville 3-D (1983)
Amityville: The Evil Escapes (1989)
The Amityville Curse (1990)
Amityville 1992: It's About Time (1992)
Amityville: A New Generation (1993)
Amityville: Dollhouse (1996)
Amityville Horror (2005 remake)

The remake, as the original before it, and as do two other bullshit movies in current release, loudly proclaims itself to be “based on a true story”. I graduated from High School in NJ in 1976. By 1980, everyone with a brain in the tri-state area who was paying attention knew that the Lutz family had made up this story to bullshit their way out of a mortgage that they couldn’t afford. Someone saw an opportunity, so they also bullshited their way into book and movie royalties. In the interest of honesty, the movie trailers should change their claim to “Based on a true and inspired bullshit story”.

Besides the phony nature of this “true” story, I have another problem. I like Halloween, and scary stories as much as the next guy, but... what if... what if... there is a part of the brain that can’t differentiate between a fictional account in the form of a movie (images and audio input), and reality. What if all of these bullshit accounts, all these bullshit images, are reinforcing belief in bullshit? Is this why more of the population believes in angels and ghosts than did the population of 50 years ago? I was never much of a fan of Westerns and war movies, but at least it was “based on reality”.

Check out http://www.amityvillehorrortruth.com/, and remember what the old Breakerslion always says: When someone goes out of their way to tell you they’re about to tell you the truth, prepare to be bullshitted.

Here’s another side of the story.

The picture, by the way, is of George Lutz. I think he's trying to look mystical. To me, he looks like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I wonder how it would be, feeling compelled to live a lie for the rest of one's life?