Monday, November 06, 2006

Ted Haggard! C'mon Down!

You're the next inductee into the Asshole Hall of Fame!

You'll be joining such notable preaching assholes as:

Cotton Mather

Oral Roberts

Jimmy Swaggart

Richard Butler

Jim Jones

Randy Weaver

Pope Innocent III

David Koresh

Kent Hovind

How many of these assholes have to be exposed before Bible Belt America starts to get a clue that they are being played like a Montgomery Ward harmonica at a house party? All of them?


At 4:35 PM, Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

But .. but.. but.. (they are not "real christians"!! ) - barf.

Being a "real christian" means ONLY having to say you are sorry. What a way to cop out of responsibility.

At 6:27 PM, Blogger Kalanchoe542 said...


Bravo! Couldna said it better, personally....

At 11:48 PM, Blogger Delta said...

His followers, disillusioned with his teaching, will turn right around to another bigoted asshole (who will be convicted of childhood rape 2 years from now).

At 4:56 PM, Blogger breakerslion said...

(In my best Barney the Purple dinosaur voice) I'm Sorry....

I don't get these whackjobs. They seem to think apologizing is equivalent to never having done it in the first place. No moral fiber, all alpha monkey crap.

At 4:45 AM, Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Listen to Paul Hipp singing "Meth And Man Ass" (The Huffington Post)

At 2:21 PM, Blogger Rev. Barky said...

That's a great song! Thanks.

Here's a cool Michael Moore piece.

It's about Rev. Phelps.

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Rev. Barky said...

Hey man, put me in your contacts list!

At 9:51 AM, Blogger breakerslion said...

You got it rev. Time for me to revise a few links on the front page too.

At 3:20 PM, Blogger concerned citizen said...

You forgot Jim Bakker! He's my favorite preacher pervert.

At 11:54 AM, Blogger breakerslion said...

Indeed I did. It was only because I thought Tammy Faye had been through enough. I suspect that deep down, under all the layers of grease paint, there is a midget with a heart of gold.

At 10:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I don't get these whackjobs. They seem to think apologizing is equivalent to never having done it in the first place. No moral fiber, all alpha monkey crap."

Maybe some do. But many do not. We just think stuff like forgiveness is really nice. We also recognize that we need forgiveness.

Of course, you have never done anything wrong. You have never had to apologize. You have never had to ask for forgiveness and receive forgiveness. No. Not you. You are a good person.

Let he who has no sin cast the first stone. Oh, wait... you all have already done that. You all must walk on water or something. Why do I associate myself with lowly sinful Christians? I ought to be trying to hang out with the perfectly humble people like you guys. (Hmm... the problem is that I am so very far from perfect. I probably am not worthy to be in your presence.)

Godless arrogance.

Is this a partisan thing? I noticed that your list was only for preachers who have sinned. Do you have a list for Democrats who have sinned?

"These allegations are false." Sound familiar?

Oh, well. If/when any of you come to your senses and you realize that you are as bad as the people you hate the most, I won't say, "I told you so." Fair enough?

Let me just say, I am not minimizing the horrible thing that Ted Haggard has done. It is wrong. It is evil. You all speak much truth - but not the whole truth. Ted Haggard has committed grievous evil. If his repentance is not real, sincere, and authentic, then he will experience the just wrath of God in hell.

Don't be a hater. Does anyone find it ironic that many on the far left seem to scream the loudest against haters, but that they often are the ones who hate the most?

God bless.

At 5:58 PM, Blogger breakerslion said...


Re. The whackjob comment: There are a lot of people who show remorse after they've been caught. I do not forgive them just because they snivel and say they're sorry and scurry into rehab or the like in order to garner some leniency for themselves. Actions speak louder than words, and it would be nice to actually see equal justice under the law. If their heart was truly in the right place, they would have refrained from committing the violation. It is especially egregious when it is a preacher because one assumes he knows right from wrong and did it anyway, calculating that he was above suspicion or wouldn't get caught. Ego te absolvo.

"Of course, you have never done anything wrong. You have never had to apologize. You have never had to ask for forgiveness and receive forgiveness. No. Not you. You are a good person."

You have obviously mistaken me for my traveling companion, the Straw Man. I have indeed done many things wrong. I have indeed apologized. More to the point, I have tried to make amends. I do not expect forgiveness just for the asking, and I have never molested anyone. The whole guilt trip forgiveness turn the other cheek sin thing is part of your world view, not mine. I believe in not rushing to judgment, forbearance, empathy, and forgiveness for that which is of little consequence or that which has been balanced in some way. "Paid his debt to society" or other rectification, satisfying the victim or at least the law.

The concept of sin is the purview of religion. In my world, there are illegal or immoral acts. Jabbering to an invisible alpha-master, saying "Hail Marys" or groveling and wallowing in guilt does not wipe the slate clean. We have a concept of justice and a justice system to exact recompense or punishment, and to prevent victims from exacting revenge. In short, I don't give a rat's ass if you feel bad about what you did, that's a form of mental illness too. Accept that it was wrong. Don't make excuses for yourself and rationalize away the responsibility. Make it right, to the best of your ability. Take your medicine.

Not godless arrogance, godless sensibility.

"Is this a partisan thing? I noticed that your list was only for preachers who have sinned. Do you have a list for Democrats who have sinned?"

The Asshole Hall of Fame has room for all assholes. We do like to give our entrants a sense of brotherhood by lumping them together with their peers. If you are indirectly asking if I think Bill is an asshole, yes. He should have known better, but at least she was an adult by most standards and practically an old maid in some states.

I have not thrown a single rock at a single asshole since I became an adult, and I only threw a few as a child. I do call a spade (pointed shovel with long handle) a spade, and an asshole an asshole.

I don't believe in Hell, and I don't believe in your god, so I can't logically believe in His just wrath. Why put off until tomorrow when you are dead and feeling no pain what the law and society can impart to you today? Sounds like a license to skate to me.

I don't hate. I am angry and disgusted, and I am not as shocked at this alpha-ego tripping behavior as I wish I was. Power corrupts. Those who find themselves with willing and passive suckers eating out of the palms of their respective hands are often tempted to play these sick dominance games. Hence: "whackjob."

At 7:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


It is not wrong to desire justice and to speak truth. In point of truth, if you ever do become a Christian, I think that you would probably speak out with a strong, prophetic voice - something that the church needs.

You are right that authentic repentance is not just fessing up when you get caught. It is not false humility of acting humble and acting like you feel bad - as if by feeling bad you can somehow make up for the wrongdoing.

When somene does wrong, they are lieing, cheating, stealing. The offense is real. Justice ought to be served. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a life for a life.

But I maintain that if this exacting of justice is the end of the story, then the logical conclusion is that we are all failures. The logical conclusion is suicide. Just look at your life, and I'll look at mine. Do you really think it is possible to compensate for all of the wrongs you have done (including the right things that you have failed to do)? If you think it is, then your standard is really low and/or your opinion of yourself is really high. Either way, you are sticking your head in the sand if you think you have what it takes to justify yourself. So, then if you have a realistic view, you recognize that you do not have what it takes to live a truly just life. Acknowledging this truth is the first step to getting in touch with reality. Failing to acknowledge this truth is to play the ostrich mentality.

God is loving, merciful, and forgiving.

I have a friend who was telling me a story about a guy trying to teach his children about the grace of God. He gave one of his kids a cookie. One kid got a cookie, while the other kid did not. When the kid without the cookie complained, the father said that the kid who got the cookie did not deserve it. It was simply grace.

That's how it is with God. God has grace on people. It is a free gift that flows out of his love and mercy.

We are not all created equal. Some have certain gifts, talents, abilities, families, and opportunities that others do not. For some, refraining from telling a lie is really hard to do. For others, refraining from drinking too much alcohol is hard to do. For others, eating right is hard to do. One person's strength might be another person's weakness. One person might be gifted in an area that another person is not.

This knowledge ought to compel us to be compassionate toward one another.

Make no mistake. I was upset by the news about Ted Haggard. What he did was wrong. I hope that he is changing - really changing from the inside out. But I do not write him off as beyond hope or beyond redemption or reconciliation. He did wrong. He can't make it up. No matter how much he tries, he did what he did. He is incapable of making it right on his own. He should still do everything that he can to make it right. But ultimately, he needs to trust God - trusting that God will find a way to make it right.

The idea that you think you have what it takes to right every wrong you have ever done is arrogant. I do not mean any disrespect. I actually say that with compassion in my heart.

Jesus paid the price for us. This is the greatest gift of the world - the gift of God's righteousness. The gift is free, but it is not cheap. It cost Jesus His life.

Very rarely will anyone lay down his life for another, though for a good man, someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God bless.

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Rev. Barky said...


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