If I screw up, it’s all my fault. If I do something good, or well, or noble, it’s God’s fault.

This is one of my pet peeves about religion. Instead of letting us feel good about ourselves, and good about the accomplishments of the human race, they glom on to everything that is good and claim it for god. Then they train us to do the same. Football players (some of them) make great show of crossing themselves when they make a touchdown. I wonder what the reaction would be if one of them just reached back and patted himself on the back instead? Every coach that man had, from peewee football on up, had more of a hand in that touchdown than the alleged all-powerful Creator of the Universe. I mean, would such an alleged being play favorites that way? Does he have a bet on the game? What about that touchdown the guy on the other team made? Is god just messing with everyone’s head? (God, to himself) “Hmm, I think I’ll make that one 4th and short!” Oh, please!

So now we come to the much-hyped story of the Tenderfoot Scout lost and found in the mountains of Utah. His mother, Jody Hawkins, had this to say:

“People say that the heavens are closed and God no longer answers prayers. We are here to unequivocally tell you that the heavens are not closed, prayers are answered and children come home,”

Jody, don’t get me wrong. I am vicariously happy that your son was found. The world has a tiny bit less grief and anguish near where you live than it would have otherwise had. I will even go so far as to say that the belief in God might have influenced some of those searchers to show up. If that was indeed the case, then your prayers were answered, in as much as they were ever going to be, when those good people turned up to search. Beyond that, you could closet yourself in church and pray until your derriere detached itself without affecting the outcome. Work, not wishes rescued your little boy. If you want to thank someone, how about thanking Forrest Nunley for displaying some independent thought and searching uphill, when virtually everyone else was repeatedly going over the same ground downhill? While you’re at it, how about thanking all the oil drillers and pipeline workers and refinery workers and soldiers that made sure that there was gasoline for Forrest’s ATV? Then, you might thank the Japanese Engineers that designed an ATV that didn’t break down on the trail. God did not find your little boy, our fellow human beings did, and I for one am proud to know they’re out there.

You might also reserve a swift kick for the Scoutmaster that did not teach a first year scout what to do when lost. That’s one of the first lessons we were taught when I was an 11 year old Scout.